Nailia Minnebaeva was very pleased to hold the first “1000 and one Signature Theme nights” at the new Barcelona Ultra Lounge in Vancouver, BC. (Where Crush Champagne Night Club used to be) on Aug 20, 2010.  A packed night ranging from young professionals, media, and artists enjoying the various stunning entertainment .


I recently picked up an used paperback called “The Friendship Factor” for 25 cents at my favourite consignment shop. I read it and surprisingly learned some neat things from it.
The author is a psychologist, and states that friendship is the springboard for every other love. People who have friends succeed in their marriage, career and have great family life.  He points to the fact that women typically have more friends then men and are able to cope with the various challenges life throws at them better.  Such examples include losing a job, going through a divorce, moving etc.  The fear of homosexuality prevents boys from a very young age from physically touching another male beyond handshakes. That and the fact, men are socially conditioned to be tough and not share their deeper feelings ensuring their sense of masculinity.  British Sociologist found that men’s definition of friendship revolve around activities, while women’s definition revolve around sharing.
Author Alan Loy McGinnis goes on to say that even in financial terms, friendship is our most valuable commodity. Dr. William Menninger has found that when people are discharged from their jobs in industry, social incompetence accounts for 60-80% of the failures.  Only 20-40% are due to technical incompetence.
 
Dr. Joseph Johnson’s test of close relationships
·       Do you have at least one person nearby whom you can call on in times of personal distress?
·       Do you have several people whom you can visit with little advance warning without apology?
·       Do you have several people with whom you can share recreational activities?
·       Do you have people who will lend you money if you need it, or those who will care for you in practical ways if the need arises?
 
Five Ways to Deepen your relationships:
1.     Assign top priority to your relationships
2.     Art of disclosure
3.     Communicate with warmth
4.     Gestures of love: rituals, gift giving, acts of kindness
5.     Create space in your relationship
 
The Take-Charge- Manipulator Test:
·       Do we usually end up going to the restaurant or movie I prefer?
·       Do I enjoy correcting factual errors in other people’s conversations?
·       Do I use humor to put down my friends?
·       Do I have to know more about a topic than others to feel comfortable discussing it?
 
If your answers are mostly yes, it may be that you’re quite insecure.
The Poor-me-manipulator is the opposite, they appear to be weak, sick, dependent on their loved ones.
The Need-to-be-needed-manipulator will create situations for others to depend on them.
 
How not to lose friends:
1.     Be cautious with criticism
2.     Employ the language of acceptance
3.     Encourage your friends to be unique
4.     Allow for solitude
5.     Encourage other relationships
6.     Be ready for shifts in your relationships
 
5 Ways to cultivate Intimacy:
1.     Use your body to demonstrate warmth
2.     Be Liberal with praise
3.     Art of affirmation
4.     Schedule leisurely breaks for conversation
5.     Talk freely about your feelings
 
Author goes on to suggest that let down your mask, and don’t be afraid to cry, to share your suffering, and tell your friends what is troubling  you, and the magic three words “I need you” will cement a deeper intimacy in your relationship.
 
Ways to improve your conversational skills:
1.     Good listeners listen with their eyes
2.     Good listeners dispense advice sparingly
3.     Good listeners never break a confidence
4.     When ask, reply and complete the conversation.
5.     Good listeners show gratitude when someone confides
 
Two ways to handle negative emotions without destroying the relationship:
 
1) Let anger out when you’re feeling them instead of bottling it up or let it turn into passive aggression.  Just keep in mind that, if you let your anger out, also be open to let your friend’s be angry too.  Allow room for others to blow off steam, which might not be caused by you but directed at you, don’t take it personally.  
2) When your friend is angry, don’t try to talk them out of how they’re feeling or try to provide solutions to their issues, often times, they just want to vent.  If friendship goes through a darm period, let it ride out.
  5 techniques to help you get angry without being destructive
    1.    Talk about your feelings, not your friend’s faults
    2.    Stick to one topic
    3.    Allow your friend to respond
    4.    Aim for ventilation, not conquest
    5.    Balance criticism with a lot of affection

Ways to salvage a faltering friendship:
    1.    Locate the trouble spot
    2.    Apologize when  you’re wrong
    3.    Check to see if your neuroses are spoiling your friendships
    4.    Check to see if you employ old methods of relating that no longer work
    5.    Check to see if you have excessive need for approval

Guidelines for Male-Female friendships:
    1.    Don’t trust yourself too far.  Be aware of the ebb and flow of your sexual desire.
    2.    Select companions who have strong marriages themselves.
    3.    Be sensible about when and where you meet alone.
    4.    Talk to your mate about your friendships.
    5.    Draw a line for physical contact.  Stick to comfortable and safe
    6.    
Commitment and forgiveness are two important keys to life long friendship.  No one is perfect at being a friend, so don’t get discouraged when they go sour. Be open to rejection, and stay emotionally open to new friendships.



I got this book several years back as a gift from a friend, and only read it recently, and what a revelation!  I cannot really summarize as the content is very broad, so I’m copying and pasting the Wikipedia explanation.  I get the manifestation process now, be grateful, have faith and let everything else fall into place.

Conversations with God (CwG) is a sequence of books written by Neale Donald Walsch, written as a dialogue in which Walsch asks questions and God answers. The first book of the Conversations with God series, Conversations with God, Book 1: An Uncommon Dialogue, appeared on bookshelves in 1995. This quickly became a publishing phenomenon, staying on the New York Times Best-Sellers List for 137 weeks. The succeeding volumes in the trilogy also appeared prominently on the list.
 
In an interview with Larry King, Walsch described the inception of the books as follows: at a low period in his life Walsch wrote an angry letter to God, asking questions about why his life wasn't working. After writing down all of his questions, he heard a voice over his right shoulder say: "Do you really want an answer to all these questions or are you just venting?"   Though when he turned around he saw no one there, Walsch felt answers to his questions filling his mind and decided to write them down. The ensuing dialogue became the Conversations with God books.
Basis of the dialog
Containing nearly 3000 pages of material in total, the series presents a vast number of ideas. The second and third books in the original trilogy deal with political and social issues.
 
 CwG's basic messages
In Friendship with God , Walsch writes that God presents four concepts which are central to the entire dialogue:
1.     We are all One.
2.     There's Enough.
3.     There's Nothing We Have to Do.
4.     Ours Is Not A Better Way, Ours Is Merely Another Way.
 
Existence is essentially non-dual in nature. At the highest level there is no separation between anything and there is only one of us; there is only God, and everything is God. The second statement following from the first, means that we, in this seeming existence lack nothing and if we choose to realize it, we have enough of whatever we think we need (or the means to create it) within us. The third statement combines the first two to conclude that God, being all there is and is thus always sufficient unto Itself, has no need of anything and therefore has no requirements of humanity. The final concept puts an end to our need to always be right. Given that we have and are everything, and there's nothing we have to do, there are an infinite number of ways to experience this, not just the one way we may have chosen so far.
 
According to the books, God recommends many economic and social changes if people want to make a more functional, adaptable, and sustainable world and recommends that more attention should focus on the environment. The conversations also speak of reincarnation and the existence of life on other planets.
 
God's motive for creation
In Walsch's first dialogue, God notes that "knowing" and "experiencing" oneself are different things. Before creation there was only That-Which-Is, which cannot know or experience itself fully, without something it is not. It cannot know itself as love, since nothing exists but love. It cannot know itself as giving since nothing else exists to give to. It cannot experience itself in myriad ways because everything is one.
 
This present creation then, in Walsch's viewpoint, is established by and within God, so that sentience can exist which does not directly remember its true nature as God. Split into infinite forms, all life can live, experience, and recreate its nature as God, rather than just "know" itself as the creator in theory. It is essentially a game, entered into by agreement, to remember who and what we are and enjoy and create, knowing that ultimately there is no finish line that some will not reach, no understanding that is not without value, no act that does not add meaning to the future or for others. In Walsch's view we have a common interest in keeping the game going, for there is nothing else to do except to experience our existence and then experience more of it, to uncover deeper layers of truth and understanding. There are no external rules, because all experience is subjective, and is chosen. But within this, there are ways that (it is stated and implied) people will gradually come to see their thoughts, words, actions are either working or they are not working. A thing is either functional or dysfunctional. These rememberings take place over "time" and can take hundreds and thousands of lifetimes.
 
Nature of the dialogue
The voice of God states in Book 1 that words are not the truth, and thus readers must ultimately take what is being said and consult their own feelings to determine if they are in agreement with it. The voice says this is true of any other book or words we come across. Though the books bear the title Conversations with God and the author introduces the first book by stating he is "taking dictation" from God, the voice of God in the trilogy explains that the dialogue is God speaking to everyone all the time. The question is not to whom does God talk, but who listens. This is clarified by the statement that God can communicate with you in the next song you hear, the next sunset you experience, the next time you hear laughter, the next movie that really moves you, the next breeze that caresses your ear, the next conversation you overhear. "All these devices are mine. All these avenues are open to me. I will speak to you if you invite me."
 
At the deepest level consciousness is being aware of the balance between mind, body and soul(spirit) and that there is only one "voice" regardless whether it is thought to belong to God, or an individual, or imagination. This leads to a statement of the Divine Dichotomy: that two contradictory truths can exist, neither making the other untrue. This is possible only in the realm of the relative, because, as was stated above, in the absolute all things are one thing, and there is nothing else.


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