What are mine doing these days, you ask?  Not looking for a job.  I've come to the realization that I'm just not cut out to be someone's employee, so going back rejuvenated and energized full force with Gracious Host Events & PR, and Social Butterfly Club.  I'm currently the event producer and publicist for "Dominelli Carnevale 2008", which is a 500 person body painting competition, fundraising gala for The Burn Fund.  If you like half naked painted firemen, and beautiful art on human canvas, amazing food, and unlimited wine from 10 Okanagan wineries, you gotta come out and enjoy www.dominellicarnevale.com

Tickets are $100, every single penny raised goes to help build a new $25 million dollar BURN building (1. Research, 2. Housing for burn victims and 3. State of the art multimedia education centre to help raise awareness about fire safety), and each guests will get a goody bag with products and gift certificates worth $250 plus.

and

Promoting a big get together for on May 15th from 7-11pm at 99 Powell Street.  It's FREE, but you do need to RSVP with us.  Complimentary appies, first drink on the house, world class DJ from San Diego (sorry, not from Montreal), and dualing piano.... and of course you get me to be your hostess!  RSVPs are coming in fast and furious, so do send in yours before space runs out.  Canvas Lounge capacity is 500...so email: alice@socialbutterflyclub.ca today to reserve your spot.  Friends are welcome.

I've also been keeping busy by blogging regularly, if you would like to see what new restaurants I've been going to, cool events, and new tips to help you with your business, check out the following 3 blogs:

This blog mainly features venues for events, upcoming events, suppliers that I use, new tools for business, or tips
www.gracioushost.ca/blog
This blog features personal musing, funny stuff, and scenery or personal comments about society
gracioushost.blogspot.com
This blog is past event or restaurant reviews, jokes, movie reviews
www.socialbutterflyclub.ca/content/blogsection

If you want to see photos, you can find me on Flickr with ismerelda80 (www.flickr.com/photos/20993954@N00/ ) or Picasaweb under NetworkingQueen (picasaweb.google.com/NetworkingQueen ), of course, you can always find me on face book under my name Alice Zhou.

Have you ever seen your company promote “work-life-balance”, or have the fitness, nutrition, and business gurus tell you to live a balanced lifestyle?  It’s so hip and trendy.

I never bought into that stuff; to me you should work hard when you’re young, and when you get to a certain stage in your life, then you can enjoy the fruits of your labour.  I was so naïve 4 years ago, when I started my business: I had a 5 year plan.  Work my ass off, do whatever it takes to make Gracious Host Events a million-dollar company, hire people to operate it, so I could sit back and run it from afar, traveling the world in style, and check items off of my life’s dream list such as winning a major professional dance competition.

Now, I can honestly say: doing business is like attending the University of Life, but don’t expect to get your B.A. in 4 years.. It will take far longer to graduate as a seasoned professional, but every step will be worth it.   For me, I love everything about business.  You learn about human psychology in understanding sales; you grasp why people buy what they want instead of what they need.  You learn how to operate a business.  You also learn about good communication whether it’s  one-on-one, in front of a group, in writing, by power point, through a proposal, on the phone, or over a fax. Working within a committee, you learn about the group dynamics of meetings and the hierarchy of the typical organizational pyramid. 

You will also learn so much about visual language and culture simply from the graphic design of brochures, emails, newsletters, websites. You will get to witness  the power of photo and video, and the impact emotion makes in communication. 

On top of that, there is the HR aspect of a business structure: staff recruitment, interviews, picking the right candidate from the applicants, motivating the team, and making sure everyone on the team is working towards the same goal.

One of my mentor’s, Ken Bell, cautioned me about my workaholism several years ago.  He told me the following story of a friend of a friend: a nice couple from Toronto owned a small business, and never took a day off for 10 years.  Their dream was able to retire and buy their dream house in BC.  After 10 years of hard work, they finally did retire. They packed up everything, bought their dream house, and were driving across Canada to their dream home when a major accident happened, and they both lost their lives.

This story has always remained in the back of my mind.  When I feel my back hurting, or my neck hurting from working too long in front of the laptop late into the night, when my voice is going from exhaustion, or when I feel a cold starting to come on… I know my body is telling me that I need to stop.

I have the tendency of working really hard until I burn out, get sick for 1-2 weeks, get better, and continue the cycle.  I finally wised up after the hyperthyroidism kicked in.  I love events and PR, but life is so much more than your job/business.

I want to live until I’m 115 (yes, 115!), and there are so many wonderful places I have yet to experience like Paris, Venice, or Rio De Janeiro, and so many events I have yet to see, like the Burning Man festival, or Carnevale in Brazil.

I saw the movie “The Last Vacation” featuring Queen Latifah during the last winter break, and I can sort of identify with her character.  I don’t have a dream binder; I have a dream corkboard in my kitchen above my sink, so when I wash my dishes, I’m looking at a spacious downtown condo, furniture from Inspirations, vacation brochure pictures from Bora Bora, and some Saturdays, I spend 4-5 hours looking at pictures on www.flickr.com of Paris, Ankar Wah, Thailand, Laos, etc to stay motivated.  I love pictures from DFE, and also my friend Gus’s pictures.

Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out what it is that I really want in life.  As I’m getting closer to age 30, I feel the pressure to get married because of my culture… 30 is almost spinster age in the Chinese culture.  I’ve always fallen for two types of guys: 1) the talented passionate business person who is a workaholic, but broke because all the money is going toward the business, 2) the creative musician/artist who really knows how to enjoy life, but who is so laid back he has no ambition, no goals, and no money.   I think I’m done with men at this point.

A good friend of mine, Travis, recently had an accident and had to have two eye surgeries last week. He told me that he found out from the nurses that took care of him, that from 1986-2000, the amount of eye injury from “Super Moms” and “Super Women” have steadily increased from putting on mascara while driving, and that I should be careful because I belong to that “Super Woman” group.  Intrigued, I asked him exactly what constitutes a “Super Woman.” He replied, “a woman who wants everything: career, independence, family, etc.”

I went to visit Grace Vancouver church with my friend, Peter Robinson, on Easter after we went to see the musical performance at Willingdon Church on Easter Sunday.  Although not particularly religious myself, I was impressed that the pastor had been educated in all other major religions.  Pastor John and his wife were kind enough to invite Peter, myself and a few other church members of Grace Vancouver to their home for a proper Easter Sunday meal.  They have a beautiful heritage home, with 5 grown children (all married except the youngest son), plus grandkids running around.  I got along with the pastor’s wife beautifully, spending hours in the kitchen just cooking, laughing and talking about life.  I can’t remember the last time I had such a sense of joy, from having the whole extended family under one roof, sharing a truly delicious, healthy meal with 3 generations, and friends.  The love in the air was thick and genuine.  I felt like crying from joy… and a light bulb went off in my head.  My heart woke up and shouted to my brain, “What the hell are you doing?! This is what I want!  Not being woman of the year on the cover of business week, or in the top 100 most wealthy people in the Forbe’s list”. 

Ever since that day, I feel like my “clock” has been ringing loud and clear.  I always laughed when I heard my girlfriends say their clock is ticking, that they want kids. I never thought it would happen to me.  This is actually quite annoying, as anything cute, babies and dogs included, distracts me from my train of thought. I could be having a serious conversation with a friend sitting at a coffee shop, and if a girl walks by with her cute dog, I will stop mid-sentence, and completely forget what I was talking about.  These urges come and go, but I can now confirm: the clock is not a urban myth.  It is true, and I’m finally beginning to understand that we can’t fight nature.  No matter how modern or sophisticated we are, we are still just human.

What will I do? I’ll focus on business still, because I love my business, but at the same time, I will try to find balance, learning to live life one day at a time.  I’ll Focus on my salsa dancing, and friends!  I love my girlfriends, and will try to strengthen my relationships with them. 

Right now, my big focus is turning Social Butterfly Club into a real business.  We've been toying with the tagline "Connect and Thrive" for Social Butterfly Club, what do you think Alice?  If there are product offering or services that you like to see (like member discount to Staples, gym, spa, business coaching 1'st hour for free, online market place, monthly teleconference with a much sought after expert, more regular events) let us know, any advice/feedback you can give would be appreciated.

I had the rare pleasure of seeing Elastic Perspective Redux on Saturday, April 19th.  We got there 1 hour before the show and it was already completely sold out.  Being the stubborn single child that I am, we waited around for no-shows, and luckily got 2 tickets just before the show started.  It was well worth the wait.  This dance troupe is from Montréal, and used Classical, Modern, Hip Hop and Break Dance accomplished by contemporary hip hop music.  It was a full house at the Vancouver East Cultural Center, with people sitting on the stairs and hanging onto the pillars on the second floor. 

The dancers were telling us story after story through dance.  In one dance, a man challenged a girl to a dance-off, where she just stood there, watched him, then walked away!  He looked like a fool, puffing out his chest and looking like a peacock.  He was amazing with his hand gestures, and all of the dancers were so graceful yet precise with their movements.  I was extremely impressed and inspired.

The crowd was really mixed from all walks of life and all age categories.  When the dancers finished and came out to thank the crowd, they received a 5-minute standing ovation!

I love innovative live performances, where street culture and classic performance meet and become a new art form.

Friday night, as a part of the loyal fans of Vancouver Asian Comedian Theatre, I howled so hard from laughter that I ruined my mascara!  I bumped into Christina Ng, from Empire Landmark Hotel and old friends from elementary school/high School.  The crowd was diverse with mostly Canadian born Asians. I was so happy to see the cultural diversity in the 9 comedy sketch troupes: there were Japanese Canadians, Chinese Canadians, Indo-Canadian, Spanish, Eurian, and Caucasian.  The group that made a musical about bubble tea from the popular Avril Lavigne song won the coveted Rice Bowl Award, The second place troupe did a sketch about a metrosexual guy having a hard time on a first date.

One of the most memorable sketches was themed around the Beijing Olympic Games. There was only two contestants, China and Guatamuala. One of the “games” was “who can get drunk the fastest”.. The Chinese contestant took one sip before his head hit the table, and then his whole body fell to the ground.  The Chinese guy was looking very casual, with a toothpick in his mouth, and sporting a wife beater with black shorts, white sport socks and black flip flops.  Another game was based on who can collect the most empty bottles from a garbage can.  China won, not even giving the Guatamualan contestant a chance near the garbage can.  One game that killed the whole crowd, was Tibetan Monk tossing, the Chinese contestant wasn't strong enough to toss the monk and didn't get anywhere, none of the other countries entered the game, so China won be default.  They won "People's Choys Award", one troupe member was so happy, he kissed Tom the MC on the mouth.

Another memorable sketch was Banana Hamick! from the group "Disoriental", who won 2007's "People's Choys Award"  Near the end of the song, the artist took off his track pants and was only wearing a neon green bottom while dancing around doing back flips.  He was in really good shape, but it was just too much! I had to cover my eyes, and hold my stomach from laughing so much.  You can check them out at www.myspace.com/we_are_disoriental


The bubble tea sketch was the most hilarious.  There were perfect stereotype portrayals of gangster wannabes and the mean Cantonese bubble tea attendee who’s constantly screaming “number 40” and talking loudly in Cantonese on the phone.  There was the indecisive office guy who got pushed over by the trendy chick in Uugs and pigtails.  He finally got fed up and said, “Fine, I'm going somewhere else to get a drink, what’s so good about bubble tea anyway?!”, which lead the whole café and everyone in the café to break out into a musical about bubble tea!  At this point, the whole crowd was grooving to the song.  By the end of the song, the office guy was singing and dancing along with them.

I could not believe the profanity, creativity, and outrageousness of the show and all the people in it.  I liked it so much I saw it again the next night!  YES, again.  If I like something, I go see it at least twice.  This is not a movie. It’ll not come out on DVD. I cannot experience this level of hilarity every day like I would with old Eddie Murphy stand-ups like “Raw”.  It was way more goofy on Saturday night as Tom led everyone at the end of the show singing "Suki Yaki" with all the Japanese brands we as North Americans have come to know and love like Honda, Toyota, Mitsubishi, Sapporo Ichi Ban, etc.

Tom Chin is the funniest MC I have ever heard.  We also saw some really good break- and hip hop dancing from Studio One, the Western Canada break-dance Champions. Check them out at www.iddance.com

The judges were pretty neat too: Edmond Wong, Lainey Lui from Laneygossip, and Lauren Toyota.  They were great. 

6 of the 9 sketches will be at Kwantlan University College May 29th, 2008 at 7:30pm, get your tickets from Joyce Lam at 778 885-1973 and visit www.vact.ca   Come out and support your local actors!  And laugh your ass off.  Come check out my blog on www.socialbutterflyclub.ca/content/blogsection/4/29/ to see more pictures, and review for this event.
  

The Power Within came to Vancouver on March 5, 2008. Featuring entrepreneurial heavyweights including Martha Stewart, Andre Agassi, Christopher Gardner, Loretta LaRoche, Quincy Jones, Phil Town, David Allen and Frank Abignale, the event was deemed as a “must-see” for anyone seeking advice on how to be successful as an entrepreneur.  Generally, the audience was captivated by the inspirational stories behind these entrepreneurial giants, and listened with an attentive ear to what they had to say in order that they might emulate and become just as successful.  What was truly remarkable, however, was that the advice offered was strikingly similar to life lessons learnt from childhood.   As children, we learned them, and as adults, we taught them.  How many of us, though, has had the diligence or courage to actually practice them? 
As many things go, “it is far easier said than done” which is, perhaps, why there are those of us who are not as satisfied or rich as we would like.  No matter. The Power Within was the perfect event to give us a strong reminder that we have the power within us to gain happiness in our lifetime, and in turn, true success…

And so, without further ado, as a recap for those who attended, and those who did not, here are the top lessons the entrepreneurial giants have to share with us:

1.    Be Passionate about what you do. By being passionate, you will always focus on what makes you happy, and that in turn will make you successful.
2.    Determination: stick with your own beliefs. Know what you want to the core of your being. Take the time to find out what your core values are. Only then, will you know what it will take to be happy and take action to be successful.
3.    Successful people are always looking for new trends. Have no fear of new technology. Embrace new methods.
4.    Make changes that last more than one lifetime.
5.    Engage in the positive: positive change, positive human contact, positive networking, positive reinforcement.
6.    Take things lightly – Live to Laugh.
7.    “Stressed” backwards = “desserts”
8.    Life happens. What you decide to do with it is how you can separate yourself from others.
9.    Engage in Random Acts of Kindness. Be a source of Inspiration towards others. 
10.    And remember: Success is more than money. Success is to fundamentally be a good human being: wholesome, balanced, a faithful spouse, and an excellent parent. 

http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html

Interesting test -- You gotta try it!

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR/VCR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In two years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER God heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family and friends often. (Or email them to death!!!)
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it.
40. Remember, you are loved!!

Thanks Allan De La Plante for his contribution for the personality test and 40 tips, Deborah So and Joanna Chen's contribution to this monthly newsletter.  If you like to contribute, feel free to send us your article, when you get published, we'll send you a very special Social Butterfly Club gift.

TWO GLASSES OF WINE
 
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 glasses of wine theory...
 
A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items on his desk in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
 
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
 
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
 
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'YES.'
 
The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
 
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
 
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.
The sand is everything else; the small stuff.
 
If you put the sand into the jar first', he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the good things that are important to you.
 
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
Play another 18 holes. Do one more run down the ski slope.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.
Take care of the golf balls first; the things that really matter.
Set your priorities.
The rest is just sand.'
 
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.
 
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of glasses of wine with a friend.'
 
Share this with a friend... I just did.
_________________________________________________________________________________

If you would like to get yourself and your business featured or event featured, please contact Alice regarding Membership Spotlight, and event poster e-blast. The interview and writing is $100, email blast is $200. This goes out to 4,000 confirmed email addresses of professionals and business owners in the Lower Mainland. Only 2 spots per month. If you do not have a professional head shot picture, Michael O'Shea Photography can provide the service at $225. If your business is unknown to us, 2-3 business references with your requests please. As well, $300 for each event poster e-blast. It goes out with our twice a month events calendar.

Who We Are:
The Social Butterfly Club has over 4,000 members in the Lower Mainland, and around the world and we are still constantly growing! Members are business professionals and entrepreneurs from a wide range of career fields and expertise between the ages of 20-70 who love to network, explore and grow personally. The purpose of our club is to create connections; provide information and business resources to our members; and to inspire and enhance their professional and personal lives.  Visit our website at www.socialbutterflyclub.ca

Feel free to share this newsletter with a friend, encourage them to become a member.  Membership is free, and you can opt out at anytime.


Alice Zhou
Vancouver's Networking Queen
Tel 604 676-1587
Cel 604 773-5231
alice@socialbutterflyclub.ca
www.socialbutterflyclub.ca